wake up! grab your things!

tour wrapped up today. we rose around 7:45am, and the entire place was quiet. none of us were really saying anything to each other. it was the feeling that we knew that there werent any more miles to be trekked together. it was the feeling that we wouldnt wake up on the ground, wrapped in our sleeping bags, smelling like b.o. and god knows what else, and still find it to be a kind of paradise. i dont care how dirty i was, or how hard the ground was, or how cold the mornings were- the past 4 weeks with these people has been nothing short of wonderful. it fucking sucked saying goodbye. first to joel, who i've become good friends with, then to tent mahal master, brett, with whom i was also friends. it was easier to watch them walk away and disappear behind the trees to the car because i knew i could look around and see the others still standing around, or packing up. it was me pretending things weren't really ending. but as things started to be destructed- tents, the canopy, the garbage from the ground- i began to absorb it all. we packed everything up and we stood there trying to smile and act like shit was cool. but it was all very uncool. how do you say, "see ya later" to 5 people who've been instrumental to the way you've lived your life for the past 4 weeks? you can't. you can hardly talk without weeping, so you keep your sentences and your glances short. there's not really enough time to tell them how awesome everything was, and how fucking fortunate you are to have met them, and how they made being away from home so easy. i watched the van pull out of the campsite, leaving eric and myself standing there, left in silence and both clearly bothered and upset. i went out to the front gate to ask the lady there about hike and bike campgrounds for later that evening, but it was mostly so i could have some time alone to deal with the situation in my own way. as i rode to the front gate i could see the van waiting to make a left out of the lot. i hung back in fear that they might see me and that it would cause me to lose my shit. just as they started to pull into the road, i rolled forward to watch them exit. the windows on the van are tinted, so i couldnt see in, but i waved one last time, not sure if i wanted to be seen or not. the van slowly disappeared away, and that was it. i'd seen that van drive away from me countless times in the past 4 weeks, but this time i knew it wouldnt be waiting for me 20 miles up the road, pb&j sandwiches waiting to be eaten. what a brutal feeling.

despite the tough morning, we had a great last couple nights here. we stayed in Cardiff-By-The-Bay for 2 days. the first nite everyone got a little happy. i drank 1.5 liters of wine, listened to the boys play some of the highlight songs from tour, and laughed. simply put, i laughed. it's such a simple thing, but it's amazing how it never gets dull. the nite ended in typical shawn fashion with me puking and then sleeping on my ground pad in the dirt with my sleeping bag. nifty. the morning after was brutal. i had a wineover, which is one of the worst types of hangovers. i basically moped around all day, puked a few times, then passed out for a few more hours. unfortunately we all got sorta separated all day. eric, brett and i shot some twenty-five-cent pool at this rad bar that eric and i will likely go back to before we leave cardiff. the bartender was totally rad, gave us free soda and eric a free beer, and then she opened the side of the pool table so we could have free pool. woo! then we wandered back to the camp, where people had already passed out, with exception of gerry, matt, joel and pete. gerry and pete went to bed, and only the residents of tent mahal were left standing (or sitting in front of the fire). tent mahal residents were: eric, brett, joel, matt and myself. tent mahal is the tent that brett brought the first nite of tour, and slept in alone with his luggage and his bike. it's an 8 person tent that when looked at, is hard to belive is not a permanent structure. one nite joel called it tent mahal and the name stuck. so there's the story behind that, because i know ive made some references to tent mahal in previous posts without explaining a goddamned thing.

what else? hmmmm.... eric and i are out here for another 9 days or something. kristen will be arriving on saturday evening, so that's exciting. i dont think it's fair for her, because she's missed all the good times and the great people. but we'll have good times. we're likely going to be riding 20 mile days. we need to take it fuckin easy. i mean, we only did 1,462 total miles in a month, so what's a few more? we're definitely looking forward to kicking back and riding short mileage. i've got no money left. that's always nice. the bank statement says $66. wooo! looks like shawn's going to be in debt. booya! fuck it. it's just paper. i've made some awesome friends and seen some awesome shit that's worth far more than the dollar bill.

well, i guess i should check some other things online while im here. here's a list of the plea for peace tour riders for everyone who cares (and also for my terrible memory) folks with an (x) by their name only rode part of the tour:

mike park
dan potthast
matt embree
joel
pete battallion
brett anderson
blake jenssen
sam
gerry (our support van driver and nicest guy in the world)
eric marlowe
shawn walker
steve choi (x)
monica (x)
jenny choi
randy (x)
bernie (x)
ted (x)
derrick (x)

hopefully i didnt forget anyone. it seems as though i got everyone on there. so, i guess we'll keep updating this until we get back. i miss everyone and though im not ready to come home yet, im glad i can come home to some rad people. to the plea for peace riders: get it and do it! i miss you mothers already. the following is a song by dan potthast that i'd like to exit with. so long and i'll see you all soon.

bear hugs,
shawn

I’ve Set Sail

It’s soon but I’ve set sail again the wind feels right this time the waves are small but they rock my boat just enough it’s soon but I’ve set sail again I’ve put my trust in the constellations the pinholes of hope that steer my boat I’ve put my heart in the hands of the man in the moon it’s soon but I’ve set sail again And if you get seasick I’ll drop anchor and hold you close and if you get sunstroke I’ll let you sit in the hull of my boat it’s soon but I’ve set sail again the moon feels right this time it’s big and it’s bright and it’s in line with the stars it’s soon but I’ve set sail again